The Face That Launched A Thousand Ships

Usually that’s my nickname for the ever-glamorous Duchess, but this week the title goes to her granddaughter Angel. Drama is apparently a highly heritable trait. Angel, like her (biological) mother Mira and her grandmother Duchess, gets very quarrelsome when she’s in heat. Unlike her relatives, she doesn’t restrict her hormone-fueled aggression to her romantic rivals, but shares it with everyone in her vicinity.

Two days ago, when the first signs of heat appeared, she decided to fight Danny, Clover and Neo all at once. Three wethers vs one ewe might have ended badly for any other ewe, but not the Mighty Angel. (Though I did keep an eye on them for a while, just to be sure.)

Angel was helped in her goal of beating up the boys by the boys themselves, who hit each other at least as often as Angel did. This led to some very funny four-way standoffs.

“Alright, who’s going to hit who first?”

And some unfortunate collisions when two pairs tried to charge through the same space at the same time, leading to poor Danny getting accidentally punched from both sides at once. Or at least I think it was accidental.

“Wow, this is easier than I thought. They’re beating each other up for me!”

Of course it’s also possible that Neo and Clover both decided to punch Dandelion as he went by. Danny must have been particularly annoying that morning, because most of Angel’s ire seemed focused on him. And gentle Neo did take the chance to butt his little brother while Clover was taking a breather by the gate.

“Charge!”

“I’m the toughest!”

“Ow! No fair, Neo!”

I’m not sure why Flynn wasn’t joining in the scuffle, since he’s usually Angel’s most devoted admirer, but he stayed out of the way this time. Neo and Clover both eventually decided to choose the better part of valor and ran off, and Angel kept chasing Danny around for about two hours before she decided she’d made her point and lost interest.

Yesterday, when she was properly in heat, she decided for some reason known only to herself that Liam was going to be her boyfriend, and spent a great deal of time following him around and making a pest of herself. I don’t have pictures of that because I was at work for most of it, but I’m told Liam was very alarmed and annoyed by the whole thing.

Duke must have decided that Liam was violating their unofficial agreement Liam has Lana and Duke has all the other girls, because in the evening when I went out to put everyone up for the night he was trying to run Liam off and stop him from coming in the barn. I could tell that between Duke and Angel Liam was clinging to the very last shreds of his patience, so I decided the two former rams had better sleep in separate stalls, both so Liam could get some peace and so Duke wouldn’t get himself killed.

“I could have taken him!”

The thing Duke doesn’t seem to understand about Liam is that his motivation doesn’t come from being particularly timid or aggressive. His most defining trait is that he is exceedingly lazy. Therefore he decides between fight and flight, not based on how scary his opponent is or any desire to prove how tough he is, but based on which option seems like less work at the moment.

What this means is that he would really rather not fight, because fighting takes a lot of energy, but he will fight if someone is persistent enough that avoiding them becomes more work than fighting them. And when he decides to fight he generally wins because he’s a) very big, b) very strong, and c) very focused on finishing the fight as quickly as possible so he can go back to being lazy. He has been known to knock boards off the side of the barn when he’s gotten in fights during the night. It is therefore my considered opinion that it would not have ended well for Duke if he’d managed to push Liam into fighting him.

Fortunately there is no evidence that anyone tried to fight through the stall wall last night, and Angel is back to her usual self this morning so the war has been averted. For now, at least. Liam is enjoying not being harassed and last I checked was settled down to a nice peaceful breakfast.

Granted “peace” is a relative term when one’s flock is full of Soay drama queens, and Liam’s breakfast was mostly peaceful because he is a) very big, b) very strong, and c) very focused on his food so he didn’t notice the dozen other sheep pushing and shoving at the feeder around him like turbulent water flowing around a large, steady boulder.

“Ah yes, peace and quiet at last.”

I’m not sure if everyone was mobbing the extra feeder because they always think the extra hay is the best, or because Duke and Angel were both up at the main feeder and they wanted to give them a wide berth. Either way, the breakfast rush is a daily routine that basically counts as peaceful, I suppose.

I’ve told the girls they’re free to stop cycling any time they like since the breeding season ended months ago, but so far they haven’t listened to me. I think the spring weather has made them worse; the boys over in the other field have also been fighting more than usual this week. I’d rather they didn’t fight so much, but I’m glad they’re feeling energetic and (mostly) happy in this little break we’re having between the late winter ice we’ve just gone through and the spring rains that will soon turn everything into soupy mud.

I Expected Better For Some Reason

After seven years of good behavior, (or at least six, he was a pretty bratty lamb) Neo has suddenly decided for some reason he needs to beat up Clover. I am willing to blame Duke, though he’s actually been behaving himself pretty well lately.

I went out to take pictures of this unusual behavior, but of course when the flock saw me coming they broke off and came running to see if I had treats. This is why so many of their shenanigans go un-photographed.

“Treats! Treats!”

And then sprinted away again the moment they realized I didn’t have any. I am under no illusions about their loyalty.

“False alarm, there’s no treats!”

Except for Mira, who hid behind my leg. I think she was hoping I would sneak her some treats once everyone else was gone.

“Good, they’re gone! Now where are my treats?”

She was extremely grumpy when treats failed to materialize.

“I said, where are my treats??”

Sometimes I think maybe she’s spoiled. Just a bit.

Once the excitement of potential treats was over, Neo went back to harassing poor little Clover. Who actually isn’t all that little anymore, but all the Soays look short next to Neo, who is unusually tall.

“I’m going to get you, Clover!”

I walked out there to tell him to behave, and he immediately stopped and tried to play innocent.

“I have nothing wrong, ever, in my life.”

I would believe him if I hadn’t been watching the whole thing. He is usually such a sweet cinnamon roll who likes having his chin scratched and will doze off in my lap if Mira doesn’t chase him off. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.

I tried appealing to Lady, telling her that she needed to teach her son some manners. She was unimpressed. I can’t blame her, she’s spent most of Neo’s life trying to stop other sheep from beating him up, not the reverse.

“It’s about time he started hitting back. I was worried about that boy.”

In other feud-related news, Lady’s horns are newly symmetrical, she’s broken the longer one off again to match the other. Actually, it was technically Daisy who broke off Lady’s horn when they were both in heat at the same time, but I digress. Lady’s horns are almost completely hollow, just the long keratin sheath with only tiny little nubs of actual bone inside, so they break off more easily and don’t bleed like normal horns would.

The flock was suspicious that I might be planning something nefarious, following them around with no treats, so they pretended to ignore me and faux-casually ambled away.

“Don’t make eye contact, she can smell fear!”

Since I never have much luck breaking up fights for more than a minute or two, I didn’t keep following them around. As of the last time I looked, Neo and Clover were both exhausted but still half-heartedly whacking each other. It shouldn’t surprise me that once Neo decided to fight somebody he’d fight like a ewe, aka to the point of collapse. Hopefully all the exercise will make them go to sleep quickly tonight and Neo will have gotten over his snit by morning.

Happy 6th Birthday, Mira!

It is Miss Miracle’s birthday today, which usually would mean it’s a day to take pictures until she gets annoyed with me, but unfortunately it is a frozen wasteland out there and I don’t want to freeze my fingers off trying to take pictures. Also the ice and snow is not very photogenic after two dozen sheep have spent over a week dropping hay and other less pleasant things all over it.

This is the first birthday since Mira was born that comes close to the snowmageddon that we were dealing with when she made her entrance into the world in 2015. It’s not as deep as the 15″ of snow we had that year, but the ice layered through the snow more than makes up for it. One of the hoop houses collapsed under the weight of the ice a few days ago, which was scary but at least no one was under it at the time.

It’s supposed to get warmer over the weekend, so I might get some belated-birthday pictures next week, but for now I’ll have to make do with a picture of baby Mira’s first night, when she finally started getting warm between her doggie sweater, a belly full of warm colostrum, and being snuggled in my lap for the first of many times. She got significantly more sleep than I did that night, and for many nights afterwards as well.

And I also have a short video recorded the next morning, proving that the minute the poor little mite had the energy to move she started loudly complaining at me, also for the first of many times.

Keeping Miss Mira happy is a full time job, but she’s very cute and sweet so I don’t mind spoiling her. She is currently not very happy with me about the weather, but she was happy with the birthday crunchies she got this morning. She will be a lot happier when the snow melts I think.

Happy birthday, Mira!

New Normal

Duke is quite happy with his new situation in the ewe flock. Having all of his girlfriends is apparently a good trade off for not having his small army of sons anymore. The other boys in the ewe flock are not happy at all. Duke doesn’t want them around his girlfriends. He does not want them around his hay. He isn’t beating anybody up yet, but he is going to find himself booted back to the ram field if he gets any more aggressive. Neo and Jeb have both had quite enough head trauma for a lifetime, thank you very much.

“Woe is us. Why is Duke in This Field instead of That Field where he belongs? ShepherdPerson has the worst ideas.”

I don’t think Liam is really scared of Duke, but he doesn’t like the stress of conflict and prefers to avoid him. Jeb and Neo are definitely nervous, and I don’t blame them. I’m splitting the hay into three different feeders now, so Duke can’t keep them away from all three at the same time. It’s not an ideal solution, but it’s working for now.

“Yay, our own private hay! Peace at last!”

Their peace only lasted as long as it took for Duke to notice them and decide that the hay they were eating looked better than the hay he was eating. He set off to chase them away, until he noticed me leaning on the fence looking at him.

“Who do those guys think they are, eating my hay? I’ll teach them to… hey, there’s ShepherdPerson! She might have crunchies!”

The gate between the two small fields is open, he could have walked about 20 feet to the left and gone through the gate to reach me, but the sheep seem to know that pushing their faces through the fence looks sadder and hungrier.

“I’m so sad and hungry and everyone is mean to me, I need crunchies!”

He’s lucky he’s so cute. How can an approximately ten year old former breeding ram who’s such a bully be so cute? Of course he’s not the only cute beggar around, so sneaking Duke a piece of Chex means a half dozen other sad, hungry sheep in desperate need of treats immediately converge on both sides of the fence. Duke knows the futility of trying to chase off a whole group of determined ewes (and also probably wants to stay on their good side) so he gave up on mooching for treats and went back to his mission of chasing the other boys away from the hay.

“We saw you give him a treat! Where’s our treats? We need treats, too!”

“Stop eating my hay! All the hay is mine!”

Liam and Neo cleared out when they saw Duke coming, but Mr Dandelion has never shared a field with his father before and was highly offended by Duke assuming he had the right of way. Duke doesn’t seem to mind sharing a feeder with the youngest set of boys so he probably wasn’t actually trying to chase Danny off, but that didn’t stop Danny from taking offense.

“You can’t tell me what to do! I’m tough! If you hit me I’ll hit you back!”

Danny is Duke’s ninth son on the farm, not counting daughters or grandsons. Duke has had a lot of experience by now with youngsters trying to prove how tough they are. He may not have been able to handle six other boys ganging up on him in the ram flock, but he is not at all impressed by Danny’s posturing. He ignored all of the baby antics and started eating hay.

“Yeah, yeah, kid. Whatever.”

It’s always so funny watching the boys deflate when they’re all ready to fight and then their opponent won’t engage. They know how to handle fight or flight, they’re never sure what to do with being ignored. They get vaguely embarrassed and shuffle away like they hope no one saw. I don’t usually see the same thing happen with ewes, mostly because when a ewe gets mad she tends to go straight to punching without all the formalities of glaring and posturing and giving her opponent the chance to back down like the boys do.

I moved over to the yard to see if there would be any more excitement once I wasn’t standing right behind them, but they settled down pretty quickly. Lady noticed me standing there and came over to try her luck at the staring-mournfully-through-the-fence trick.

“I need extra treats, it’s not easy being queen!”

Duke followed her but I think he was more interested in seeing if she wanted to be his girlfriend than in treats. Lady was definitely only interested in treats.

“Where are my treats? I’m licking my lips, I can’t wait!”

Trying to get close enough to take pictures through the fence without the wires getting in the way is difficult when the subject you’re trying to photograph would rather try to eat the camera than back up a few steps.

“I said, where are my treats??”

I gave Lady her treats and talked to her through the fence about the state of her realm, until the dogs started physically shoving themselves between us, insisting that when I am in their yard it means it’s their turn to get all the attention. Lady wandered off back to the hay feeders with Duke in tow and I had to sit on the cold ground and let dogs trample over my lap and give me their paws and stick their noses in my face until they were mollified.

Thanks to Mira, I’m usually pretty good at holding the camera backwards at arm’s length to take pictures of animals on my lap, but the clearest one I got today was Echo nibbling on my hat while Watcher nibbled on Echo’s ears.

If I’d had a hand free I could have started ruffling Watcher’s ears, and made it a full circle of slightly annoying gestures of affection. As it was I settled for letting them escort me back to the house before my jeans froze to the ground. Next week is supposed to be even colder, and I’m not looking forward to it.

Winter Wonderland

We have the perfect amount of snow outside today, enough to look pretty and make grazing impossible but not enough to make it hard for the sheep to walk. The sheep disagree of course, any amount of snow is too much in their minds. Everyone ran for the hay feeders, except for the two bottle babies, Angel and Mira. They both turned around and ran back to me to demand their breakfast.

“Mommy! Where’s our food!”

And they helpfully followed me back to the barn and reminded me where the hay is, just in case I forgot since yesterday.

“It’s in here, you just have to open this latch!”

I live in dread of the day they figure out how to work the barn door latch.

Since there are now seventeen(!) sheep in the girls’ pen, the big hay rack is a bit too crowded, even with the one small feeder relieving some of the crowing. I decided to toss some extra hay into one of the other seldom-used feeders hanging on the fences, thinking that the two or three sheep that get squeezed out could eat there. Of course I ended up with two sheep at the small rack they share with the boys…

… three sheep at the big rack (count the legs)…

… which according to my math left twelve sheep either mobbing the extra feeder I decided to fill or pawing at my legs in frustration because they’ve been pushed away from the extra feeder. Because that hay is clearly much better.

“This is the best hay ever!”

It all came from the same bale, there shouldn’t be any difference. Sheep are very clever but they can also be so silly.

Watcher was waiting at the gate to escort me back to the house in case I got lost due to the snow, or in case I forgot the way since yesterday. Sometimes all these animals “helping” me makes me suspect they think I have a shockingly bad memory. They seem to like me anyway, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.

“Are you ready to go back now? My paws are cold!”

One has to admire Watcher’s loyalty, waiting out in the snow for me to finish with the sheep. He always loves running around and playing in the snow, but not so much standing around or sitting in it.

Echo waited on the nice dry porch, but did come running to meet us when we were on our way back. I think he heard me praising Watcher for being so helpful and got jealous. He is firmly of the opinion that he is the only dog around here who should be petted and made a fuss over.

“Wait for me! I’m a good boy, too!”

Watcher took this as a sign that Echo really wanted to play chase in the snow.

“Here I come!”

“I got you!”

Then they had to race each other back to me, while I took pictures as fast as the camera could shoot. Watcher may have cheated just a bit, play-biting at Echo’s ears and ruff at every opportunity.

Here they come!

Almost there!

The next picture on the camera’s storage is a picture of the ground I took on accident as two collies collided with my legs, and then I had no free hands for picture taking. It’s difficult to walk with the two of them going around and occasionally between my legs, Watcher trying to get Echo to play by jumping on him and chewing on his ears, and Echo trying to push Watcher away and insisting I pet him with both hands instead of petting each of them with one hand. It takes at least two hands to properly pet a collie, in Echo’s opinion.

The snow is already starting to melt so I don’t think it will last long, but it was fun while it lasted. If it was deep enough to give the sheep trouble I would be complaining, but this thin layer of snow was just enough to give everyone a nice change of pace this morning.

Well. A nice change of pace according to everyone except the sheep. But they will survive until the snow melts, despite their own expectations. They always do.

Dark Clouds, Silver Lining

It looks like the pictures of the boys I took at Christmas were the last pictures I’ll get of that particular group, at least for a while. A few days after New Year’s about six of the boys all ganged up on Duke and made a fair attempt at killing him. I knew Duke was getting on in years and likely wouldn’t be “boss” forever, but I didn’t expect a reenactment of Julius Caesar. Normally I try to let them work these things out themselves, but six on one isn’t a fair fight even for a young sheep, and I wasn’t willing to risk a repeat of Lady’s recent injury. It looked like Barney and the two crossbreds were the main instigators, with the Dukelings just bouncing around thinking the whole thing was a Splendid Game, but a lack of malice doesn’t mean they couldn’t have hurt Duke without necessarily meaning to.

Dad and I had to chase the sillies around the field for over an hour before we managed to get Duke off into the small field, with Jeb to keep him company since Jeb wasn’t involved in the murder plot and doesn’t have an aggressive bone in his body as far as I’ve seen. Barney is usually Duke’s designated buddy, but since he was one of the most determined of the attackers that wouldn’t have worked very well this time.

“Hi, ShepherdPerson! Are you here to give us treats?”

These are nine very naughty sheep who do not deserve any treats and ought to be ashamed of themselves. Even Barney, standing off to the side trying to look innocent. Et tu, Barney? I suppose after all these years living with Duke he finally snapped.

I left Duke and Jeb off on their own for a day or two before putting them back, hoping that the feud would blow over, but it didn’t. Rescue attempt #2 put Jeb and Duke back in protective custody.

“How come we’re in jail when we didn’t do anything wrong?”

Since the small field is not enough for even two sheep long-term and I really didn’t want to start trying to maintain three separate flocks, the only alternative was to put Duke with the girls. Since Duke has been pushing that idea for years, I knew he wouldn’t complain. Since he can’t make lambs anymore, the only thing I was worried about was whether Liam might take exception to another former breeding ram hanging out on “his” turf. I decided to let both groups out in the yard, hoping it would be enough of a distraction to prevent any serious fighting.

“Freedom!!”

In hindsight I should have recorded Duke running across the field towards the girls, played it in slow motion, and dubbed some dramatic, triumphant music over it. Oh well. It’s easy enough to imagine.

“Wait for us!”

Everything went surprisingly smoothly, no real fighting at all, and they all moseyed off towards the top of the yard together. I think it took about five minutes for Duke and Liam to even notice each other. It was definitely obvious when Duke realized one of his new pasture mates was Not Like The Others. The coup over in the boys’ field doesn’t seem to have dented Duke’s ego much and he immediately started posturing and gearing up to fight.

“What’s this? A Bitter Rival?”

This I should have recorded and dubbed over with music from a Western showdown. Everyone subtly ducked out of the direct line between the two former rams, apparently recognizing the signs of an imminent duel.

“This yard isn’t big enough for the both of us, FluffyWhiteRival!”

Liam was a bit befuddled by Duke’s unexpected challenge.

“Is he serious, ShepherdPerson?”

“You and me, foreheads at ten paces, right now!”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“Hey, where are you going?”

Liam wandered off without either fighting or running and now it was Duke’s turn to be befuddled. He didn’t know that was an option. He wandered off with the girls and started grazing again, so I suppose he was counting it as a win. Or perhaps he was embarrassed. It’s hard to suitably impress his new girlfriends when no one will fight him. I’ve never noticed that the girls find watching rams fight all that interesting, let alone impressive, but that doesn’t stop the boys from trying.

“You stay away from my girls, Jeb!”

Liam did briefly chase Jeb in circles a few times, just to make sure he didn’t get any ideas. Poor Jeb had no interest at all in impressing girls and didn’t deserve such harassment. I have no idea why Liam only sees other Shetlands as rivals, but apparently it still holds true. Either my trick to distract them with yard grass worked or Liam realized Jeb wasn’t interested, because once Jeb stopped going in circles and set off in a straight line Liam quickly gave up on chasing him.

“Come back here and– oh never mind, just stay away from my girls.”

He did seem keen to keep Lana and Nina away from the rest of the flock for a while, though.

“Crazy Soays, always wanting to fight. Let’s stay over here on our own.”

Duke shadowed the rest of the flock off in the other direction, apparently satisfied to let Liam have Lana and Nina as long as the rest of the girls were “his.”

“Crazy Shetlands, don’t even know how to fight. Let’s go this way and leave them alone.”

Both groups were contentedly grazing together tonight when I put them up, but I shuffled Duke and Jeb into the “private” stall for the night anyway, just in case being in close quarters made the two former rams more willing to duel.

Bran and Johnny seem to be the main contenders for new “boss” in the boys’ field. Some of the Dukelings are sporadically jumping into the fight too, but no one is taking them seriously. They’re not even taking each other seriously. I think they’re still convinced it’s all a Splendid Game and everything will soon go back to normal. I don’t know if this new arrangement will be permanent, but as long as Duke keeps behaving I don’t see why he can’t stay where he is. It’s a bit sad that he’s been displaced from top spot in the boys’ flock after so many years, but if it means he finally gets to stay with the girls I imagine it’s a trade he would have been happy to make.

Happy New Year!

Today it is very rainy and the lowest point of the pasture is flooded to the middle of my calf, so I am going to use pictures from two days ago and pretend that was New Year’s. The sheep don’t know the significance of one day over another, anyway.

“Yay! Breakfast!”

This is more like what I’m used to in the mornings. A nice family breakfast with everyone together and hardly punching each other at all. The feeder is a bit crowded with that many sheep, so there is lots of milling around until they all find a spot to eat. For some reason on this particular day the hay on the right side of the feeder was much better than the hay on the left side, which added to the pushing and shoving.

“Munch-munch-munch”

Someone needs to invent a feeder with wire mesh sides so they can pull hay out without needing to stand on their hind legs. Oh, wait, they can pull hay out without climbing on the feeder, they just like eating from the top, making a mess and dropping hay on their neighbor’s backs.

I took a video of them eating, featuring Danny trying to eat the roof, Neo running over for extra treats, Angel punching Nina for no reason, and Mira trying to push Holly out of her way even though there was plenty of room, then looking back at me when she lost her spot to make sure I saw how mean everyone is to her. When Mira was a baby I used to stand next to her at the feeder to make sure she didn’t get squeezed out since that’s what the sheep mamas do for their babies, but at some point a mother has to consider the possibility that her kid might be the bully.

Videos don’t always show up in emails, so click through to the blog if it doesn’t show up.

I filled the small feeder to relieve some of the crowding, whereupon they all ran to overcrowd that feeder instead. This left a few of the less pushy sheep squeezed out until they looked back and realized they could have the big feeder mostly to themselves.

“Hey Danny, look! There’s room at the big feeder now!”

Angel elected not to brave the crowds at either place, dragging a big clump of hay out and carrying it off with her so she could eat and keep tabs on me at the same time. She’s in favor of fighting in general, but sometimes she just wants to eat her breakfast and keep an eye out for any crunchies I might drop.

“I’m taking my breakfast to-go!”

So far today everyone is mostly eating during the gaps in the rain, and otherwise hiding in the hoop houses. They don’t like the rain, but I’m choosing to take it as a good omen that maybe we won’t have a drought this year. Here’s hoping for a better year than the last one all around!

Belated Merry Christmas

I wanted to take a nice group shot of everyone eating their breakfast together on Christmas, but my camera battery died before I could take any pictures. And then our internet and phone service went out for the rest of the day, so I couldn’t have posted anything anyway. Not having internet or phones was so disorienting that I forgot to charge the battery, and therefore missed getting breakfast pictures the next day as well. The day after that I had the battery charged, but forgot to actually put it back in the camera. It’s been a very strange week.

This morning I actually managed to have a working camera with me to take breakfast pictures, though without the nice Christmassy snow we had on the actual holiday. Predictably, this was the day they decided to break their usual tradition of all crowding around the feeder together.

What is this, only five sheep interested in breakfast? This is not like my flock. Except on further investigation it is like them after all. Duchess and Lana were both in heat and therefore had to duel to the death and didn’t have time for breakfast, with Danny tagging along to watch the show…

“I’M the prettiest!”

… and Lady had led most of the rest of them off to stage a peaceful protest by the yard gate, insisting they wanted yard grass instead of hay this morning. So my plans of getting belated-Christmas breakfast pictures have once again been thwarted. Oh well.

“More hay for us, then!”

Holly and her two year old “baby” Marigold stayed behind to eat out of the top of the feeder together, side by side as always. I decided that was as close as I was going to get to a family picture of the girls.

“Stop taking pictures and feed me, I’m hungry!”

Barney stuck to his usual routine of hanging out by the smallest hay feeder and insisting he is horribly mistreated and couldn’t possibly fight his way in at the boys’ main feeder, which is an exaggeration at best. He may or may not be mistreated by the other boys sometimes, but he has no trouble getting to the hay.

There really isn’t much point in filling the little feeder since it only holds one flake of hay, but it gives everyone another source of food to squabble over and relieves some of the crowding at the big feeders, so I fill it anyway. Also everyone is convinced the hay in the smaller feeder is better and they get upset if I don’t fill it up.

“I’m mistreated and hungry, too!”

Apple is not mistreated by anyone. In fact he and the rest of the Dukelings are usually the ones dishing out any mistreatment in the boys’ flock. He’s just a terrible mooch and unfortunately very cute, so he usually gets what he wants.

Despite Barney’s habit of staking out the small feeder every morning, once it’s filled he generally realizes the hay is exactly the same as all the rest and goes back to the main feeder, where miraculously he now has no trouble reaching the hay.

“I guess it’s not that crowded after all!”

I may not have been able to get the picture I wanted of the girls’ flock, but at least I got one of the boys eating breakfast together. Maybe the girls will be more cooperative for New Year’s breakfast?

Double Standards

Duchess and Daisy seem determined to usurp Angel’s place as The Most Troublesome lately. The day before yesterday the two of them ganged up on Lady so aggressively that they actually managed to hurt her. I had to split the girl flock between two fields to separate them. Lady is still walking a bit gingerly, but nothing seems to be broken so I think she just strained something when she fell down.

Duchess seems to have given up their vendetta, but Daisy is still following Lady everywhere. She isn’t butting Lady anymore or I’d still have them separated, but she is making an annoyance of herself. Lady’s going to be eight next spring, she doesn’t need this sort of nonsense.

She’s still behind me, isn’t she?”

“You gotta make her stop, she’s driving me crazy!”

“I’m not doing anything!”

Angel saw me taking pictures of Lady and Daisy and had to come over and run the two of them off to make sure I wasn’t giving treats or attention to anyone but her. And then she swatted me with her head when I tried to pet her, just to reclaim her title of Most Troublesome. She either doesn’t like competition or she likes it too much, I’m not sure which.

“I only like competition when I’m beating up the competition!”

Once Angel drew everyone’s attention to me there was a bit of a scuffle as the rest of the flock came over to make sure I wasn’t handing out crunchies, but all of those pictures came out as indecipherable blurs for some reason. The reason, of course, being Mira hovering over my lap and jostling my camera arm.

“This is my mommy! All you sheep go away!”

She likes competition even less than Angel, but while Angel finds fighting invigorating, Mira finds it stressful and upsetting. She will butt other sheep away from me if she “must,” but she prefers to get very whiny and clingy instead of fighting.

“Moooom, you’re only supposed to pay attention to meeeee!”

Poor little neglected girl. She gets no love at all. (Even Angel has begrudgingly accepted that she can’t keep Mira away from me. Much the same way Mira resentfully tolerates Angel.) I tried to give her a hug and got swatted by her, too. Both of my bottle lambs are Problem Children today. I am a pushover for Mira’s sad faces, but she is much less affected by me making exaggerated sad faces at her.

“I don’t want hugs! I want to sit in your lap and eat crunchies! It makes me very sad when I don’t get what I want!”

Personal space clearly is only a thing that applies to sheep, not to ShepherdPeople. Although Daisy isn’t respecting Lady’s personal space either, so maybe sheep just have one standard for themselves, and a different standard for everyone else. I stopped to scold Daisy one last time on my way back to the house, since she was still hovering so close to Lady that they looked like a shaggy pushmi-pullyu.

“I’m not bothering Lady, ShepherdPerson!”

“Yes she is!”

“ShepherdPerson, you need to stop following me around everywhere, it’s really annoying and makes me uncomfortable.”

On second thought I’m positive sheep just have double standards. Hopefully Daisy will get bored and find someone else to bother soon, so Lady can have some peace.

Disruptions Due to Snow

We’re getting the first snow of the year this morning. It likely won’t stick, but it was enough to coat everything in white by the time I got up and it’s still coming down.

Brrr. Fresh snow is beautiful, but I much prefer looking at it through a window rather than going out in it. The sheep don’t like snow either, it sticks in their hooves and it hides the grass. Every year there is a mass panic at the first snow, as they all conclude that there will never be any more grass ever, so I was prepared for that. They still managed to put one over on me, though.

We knew we were supposed to get snow, so for the first time in months we closed the wooden barn doors instead of just swinging the gate across the opening, both to keep heat in and to keep snow off of the hay stacked by the doors. The change must have thrown me off a bit, because I forgot to close the girls’ end of the barn behind me before letting the boys out. The boys didn’t notice either and they all ran out their own end of the barn as usual. I had just finished dumping hay into the boys’ hay rack, when I turned around to see Mira, Duchess, Daisy, Clover, and Neo running out of the barn into the boys’ field.

I wasn’t too worried about Mira, since I often let her come with me while I’m filling the boys’ hay racks and she never gives me any trouble, but the others were more of a problem. Neo gets hurt too easily every time he gets mixed up with the boys, and Clover likely would too, given that he’s so small and doesn’t have full horns. Duchess attracts boyfriends like flies and that causes its own set of problems.

The two wethers figured out their mistake fairly quickly and retreated back through the barn as soon as they could get away from their pursuers. Barney chased Neo through the barn and into the girls’ field, but I decided to worry about that once I got Duchess and Daisy back where they belonged.

The pair were being stubborn and refused to come back. I tried to bribe them, but Mira was right on my heels and snatched every treat I pulled out of my pocket before I could tempt the others into coming to me. Trying to shoo her off only made her upset and spooked the other two escapees into running away, so I gave up on that idea. At that point they had decided that I thought I was the boss, and therefore refused to cooperate on principle.

“You can’t tell ME what to do, ShepherdPerson!”

As usual with these sorts of mix-ups, it eventually became a battle of wills. Duchess and Daisy knew what I wanted them to do, they just didn’t want to do it. Fortunately for me, humans are designed to be endurance hunters. When this sort of thing happens I just have to keep walking after them and getting into their personal space bubble and eventually they will go where I want them to just to get me to stop. They know as soon as they cooperate I’ll stop bothering them, so they don’t get genuinely stressed by my low-speed chasing. They only get really stressed if they don’t know what I want, which doesn’t happen often anymore.

Mira thought I was pestering Duchess because I was feuding with her the way the ewes do, and happily joined in the pursuit, “helpfully” butting Duchess away every time I managed to get her to actually stop and look at me. Silly girl had a great time and seemed to consider the whole thing an excellent mother-daughter bonding experience. I’m glad at least one person involved was having fun.

“OK, we’re back in our own field, now stop following us, ShepherdPerson!”

They were quite grumpy with me by the time they gave up and retreated. Actually all the girls were a bit grumpy with me, as they’d had to wait at least five extra minutes for their hay while I annoyed the two rebels into cooperating, and five minutes is a long time when there might never be any more food ever.

And as it turned out, I didn’t need to worry about catching Barney after all. Liam caught him first. Liam gets along fine with Jeb and Barney when he’s over with the boys, but whenever one of them gets in with the girls he gets jealous over Lana and attacks them. I don’t know why he never seems to care about the Soay wethers being around Lana, but apparently only Shetland wethers (and Neo on rare occasions) register as true competition for him. Despite being rather slow and sedate generally, he’s a very powerful animal when he decides he’s going to fight somebody, so it took less than a minute and about three head-butts for Barney to come flying through the barn back to the boys’ flock, regretting all of his life choices. Much to his (and my) relief, Liam considered the matter settled at that point and didn’t chase after him.

I tried to get a picture of Barney once everyone was sorted out and the gates were closed, but he was hiding between Duke and the hay rack and I couldn’t get a clear shot of him. Liam must have made quite an impression if Barney went running to Duke for protection.

“My rival is gone and breakfast has finally been served! All is back to the way it should be!”

Liam went back to his usual placid self right away, but it took Lana a few minutes to calm down. Lana doesn’t enjoy being fought over the way Duchess some of the Soay girls seem to, and I usually don’t let either Jeb or Barney in with the girls for that precise reason, so she was a bit rattled by the whole thing.

“What on earth is going on this morning?! There’s no grass and there’s all this running around and fighting and sheep Over Here that should be Over There! I’m sticking close to Liam in case everything goes crazy again!

“See what kind of nonsense I have to put up with around here?”

Poor Lady, queen of such an unruly flock. It can’t be easy, trying to keep this bunch in line. Not that I would know anything about that.

“You should have let me help!”

Watcher was so wound up he spun in circles all the way back to the porch, jumping around like a puppy. I don’t know if he was excited about the snow or about the mix-up with the sheep or both, but either way it took me longer than it should have to get back to the porch thanks to his antics.

Echo, as usual, wanted nothing to do with either snow or sheep, and waited for me on the porch.

“Oh good, you made it!”

“Now hold my paw and pet my ears!”

Echo only knows one trick but he knows it very well. It’s just the part about only doing it on command that he doesn’t understand. He thinks offering his paw means I am obligated to pet him, regardless of whether I asked for it or not. He’s right of course, I do end up petting him every time he gives his paw. Partly because I don’t want to make him sad, and partly because if I don’t he just keeps getting in my way and whacking me insistently with his giant paw until I do.

I spent much longer out in the cold than I intended to thanks to the sheep and the dogs, so I think Echo and I are both going to hide inside for a while and see if the snow goes away.