The Deed is Done

Duke is once again the only intact male on the farm. Order is restored to the universe. According to Duke anyway; Will and Johnny certainly don’t agree.

Knowing Will’s magical ability to ooze through the walls and escape any confinement, I went through the rodeo of catching and haltering him well ahead of time. That gave him plenty of time to throw a tantrum before the vet got here.

Stage 1: Begin dying.

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“I am trapped! I’m going to die! I can feel my legs going weak!”

“That’s nice. Is there any food in this tray?”

Well his front half started dying, anyway. His back end apparently didn’t get the memo. Johnny was more interested in looking for crunchies than Will’s theatrics.

Stage 2: Glare

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“There isn’t any more food… what are you doing?”

“Shhhh, I’m giving ShepherdPerson the death glare. She’ll crack any minute, just watch!”

Stage 3: Umm… I’m actually not sure what his plan was here. Run away and become a contortionist?

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“Are you stuck?”

“No! It’s all part of my brilliant plan!”

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“ShepherdPerson, I think Will’s stuck.”

“I am not stuck!”

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“Ok, maybe I am a little bit stuck…”

He was stuck. Being the EvilShepherdPerson that I am, I simply had to photograph his predicament before untangling him. I definitely need proof that a sheep can get stuck by flipping upside down and somehow wedging his horn behind his back.

The positive side is that by the time the vet got here Will was too worn out to give her any trouble. Everything went smoothly, despite Mira’s constant stream of yelling and trying to steal equipment through the fence.

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“Hey! You’re paying attention to the wrong sheep! What about ME!?”

I’m pretty sure this was the sort of attention she can live without. One of the few points in a sheep’s life where it’s definitely better to be female.

Poor Johnny collapsed as soon as the vet got done and decided he would rather not move ever again.

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“I would rather not move ever again.”

Will laid down in the corner with his back to me. His thoughts on the matter were pretty clear.

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[comment censored]

I think that about sums it up. Poor boys, hopefully they’ll feel better soon.

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11 thoughts on “The Deed is Done

  1. Too bad Will didn’t have his head down and back end up when the vet arrived. Or maybe you should’ve left him contorted – that might’ve made her job easier too?

    I know. I am so cruel and wicked to suggest this. Here’s hoping now that “the boys” are missing a part of “the furniture” so to speak, your life will get easier. Then again, Will may simply try nursing. Again.

  2. OMG that boy is a TRIP! So glad that is OVER. And over for you also……………comments are priceless. Thank you. You and Sara need to get together and you could write a comedic book with LOTS of chapters!!!

  3. I laughed out loud through this entire post. Thanks for the smiles. Even though I will return to read this again and again, I’m sure your boys are glad it’s “once and done”.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed reading!
      They’re not glad about much of anything at the moment. I’m still getting resentful glares from the two invalids. They seem to be recovering quickly, though. 🙂

  4. As always, we read this aloud. Not once, but twice. Will, brilliant plan, hon. You should work on your yoga a bit more before trying that contortionist pose again.

    Very best from the peanut gallery,

    Natalie, Christopher, and Noah

  5. Oh dear, poor boys! I’m glad it’s all over with for them. Now they can be lazy and grow fleece for the rest of their lives and not have to worry about romance! 🙂

  6. Pingback: No Good, Very Bad Day | Shepherd Life

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