On this blog I record many conversations between myself and my sheep as if spoken in English. These conversations aren’t actually in English; for the convenience of my readers (and in order to sound less crazy) I translate them into English from the original Baa-ese. My translation usually says something along these lines:
Princess: Crunchies, Mommy?
Me: Not right now, baby.
Princess: But I’m reeeeeally hungry, Mommy! I want my Crunchies!!
Me: Then eat your hay, you can’t have crunchies.
Barnabus: Did someone mention crunchies? Can I have some?
Princess: No! My crunchies! Go away!
“Everybody’s mean to me.”
To an English speaker, the original conversation would sound something like this:
Princess: Meeeh! (imagine a soprano cow) *looks hopeful*
Me: Baaa! (imagine a
crazy shepherd sheep whisperer baa-ing at her sheep) *pets Princess*
Princess: Meeeh! *tugs on my coat and kicks me in the shin with her front hoof*
Me: Baaa! *nudges Princess towards hay rack*
Barnabus: BAA-AA-AA! (imagine a loud, vibrate-y, bass baa. Almost like a belch.) *runs over looking hopeful*
Princess: MEEEH! *butts Barney*
“Meeeh!” Trans. “Is it dinnertime yet?”
I know Barney and Princess best by voice. They’re my chatterboxes; I can’t set foot outside the house without them raising a racket. Duke can only manage about half a baa before his voice cracks: “Ba-eck!” Duchess and Lady almost never vocalize, but on the few occasions they have, they sound almost exactly alike and make a very quiet, soft little “maa!”
Hopefully there will soon be some little lamb voices joining the flock! Provided the ewes settled, the lambs should be here in about a month!